Too Big to Fail: Highlights from Shaquille O’Neal’s Cultural Contributions

I caught an episode of Shaq Vs.—Shaquille O’Neal’s latest contribution to America’s cultural collage—a couple of weeks ago as I flipped through channels to find mindless background accompaniment for my evening meal. Shaq Vs. fit the bill perfectly, for it is nothing more than a shameless personality vehicle that comfortably seats Shaq and a series of celebrity athletes who half-heartedly compete against O’Neal in their own professional sport. The best thing about this show is that it typifies the kind of self-indulgent projects Shaquille O’Neal has put his name on over the years and proves my personal theory: The man is incapable of producing anything that bankrupts his advertising potential. Lord knows he’s tried!

Coping with Michael Jackson’s Untimely Death

Today marks the day that Michael Jackson moonwalked off this mortal coil, leaving the rest of us here to reconcile the man, the myths, and the legacy of his music. He spent a lifetime in the spotlight, for better or for worse, and his contributions to our cultural discourse have hit an equal number of high and low notes. Despite what you might think of the man’s personal life, Michael Jackson made an impression on every single person who ever cared about music, and that includes you. So in an effort to help myself (and everyone else) navigate these uncertain emotional waters, I submit to you these tips for coping with the King of Pop’s untimely death.