The Future of Weight Loss Product Pitches: Halloween Edition

Melt-Off: the weight loss product that will have you SCREAMING for more! My teevee tells me that weight loss products are all the rage—a man can’t watch an enjoyable hour’s worth of terrible daytime television without hearing at least one snake oil sales pitch. Each commercial is as interchangeable as the last, but despite the [...]

How to Replace Your Toilet Tank Lid: A Saga

I write this for those unfortunate souls of the future world who find themselves in the unlucky position of losing—or smashing, or cracking, or irreparably chipping—their toilet tank lid. Curse your luck (or whoever broke your damned TTL) because the quest to find a replacement can get complicated. There are two questions you are no doubt asking yourself, so let’s see if I can be of some help.

eMusic’s Mistake: A Lesson for Music Marketplaces of the Future

We really had something magical, eMusic and I. Some rare symbiotic connection between corporation and customer that could have lasted a lifetime. But consider this an epitaph for what once was, because today I turned my back on our partnership and cancelled my account after more than three years of patronage. Let it be said that there is no bad blood, no ill will—we’re just another dynamic duo undone by the misdeeds of one half of the team. The recent missteps taken by eMusic are a lesson for all future music marketplaces, and so I say unto thee: heed this warning and you may just survive in a world where customer loyalty is the greatest form of currency.